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Born in Stockholm (Sweden), now live in Sapporo (Japan). Hold a Ph.D. in computer science and work with computers during the days, perform magic in a bar during the nights (and weekends, for kids). Also used to teach historical fencing back in Sweden.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Is that an inflatable penis in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?


On Monday it was the 24 year anniversary of the "snack pub" Ropossa here in Sapporo. The mama of the Ropossa magic snack pub does magic but says she is not a magician. She is very good at spoon bending, balloon swallowing, and producing sponge rabbits, and would probably be called a magician by most people.

月曜日に「ロポッサ」というスナックの24周年だった。ロポッサのママがマジシャンではないと自分で言い張っているがスプーン曲げ・風船を飲む・スポンジ、色々なマジックをやっている。一般人から見たら、マジシャンだね。

She also does a lot of magic tricks with penis shaped sponges and balloons (she also loves poo-shaped toys, sponges, and balloons). My boss in our magic bar also loves tricks with penis shaped objects, so the Ropossa mama had bought a penis shaped balloon that she wanted to give to him.

ママはチンコの形のスポンジや風船のマジックも大好きだ(うんこのおもちゃやスポンジも大好き)。うちのマジックバーの店長もチンコのスポンジとかのマジックが大好きだ。ママがチンコの形の風船をうちの店長にあげたかった。

Since I went to Ropossa to congratulate them on the 24 year anniversary but my boss did not have time to go (both our magic bar and Ropossa are open more or less the same hours, so he had to work), the Ropossa mama asked me to take this huge penis shaped balloon and give it to my boss when I met him next.

僕がロポッサに行ったが店長がいけなかった。営業時間がほぼ同じだから。僕がチンコの風船を店長に渡してねってママに言われた。

In Sapporo, I often get stopped by the police and they want to see my alien registration card (my Japanese ID) and they ask me what I am doing etc. Sometimes they ask me to empty my pockets and show them everything I have on me. I am not sure why this happens to me all the time (my foreigner friends tell me it never happens to them), but my Japanese friends tell me it is because I look suspicious.

札幌では警察によく止められるんだ。外国人登録証明書を見せてとか、ポケットにあるもの全部出してとか、色々言われる。何でこんなに止められるか、よく分からない。外国人の友達が一回も止められたことないとか、皆そういう感じだそうだ。日本人の友達によれば、僕の見た目が怪しいから勿論止められるって。

Anyway, walking around with a huge penis in my pocket would not be the best time to be stopped by the police, so I walked straight to our magic bar and handed over the balloon that same night, haha. My boss was very happy.

でかいチンコのスポンジを持ち歩いている時に止められたら大変かもしれないと思って、直接マジックバーに渡しに行った、笑。店長、大喜び。

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